Melissa Bailey’s Weblog

Chapter 1

Dear World,

I’ve been put through Hell and treated like shit through the whole painful and lonely experience. No one has ever been there for me. No one has ever held me tight and told me it was going to be okay. I think that’s because it isn’t going to be okay. Is it? What else am I going to be put through? I’ve been dragged through Hell’s flames naked and still you torture me. Why? What have I done in a past life or in this one to provoke this hellicious treatment? Have I asked for this? First, you take away everyone that I love, know, or who has helped me to survive. Then you confuse me and push me down the ladder. I get slashed for everything. My mind is spinning with fury. Why do you give me false hopes and dreams just to crush them? Do you like to see my dreams crumble to the floor like a delicate house of cards? Do you like to see me falter? Or do you just like to watch me scamper around for answers and laugh in my face when you hold them just out of my reach above your head? I’ve tried and tried and tried but to no avail. Everyone keeps telling me to keep getting up and try again. But frankly, I don’t think that it’s worth the heartbreak and pain to keep getting on that seesaw becuase I know I’m going to go up just to came back down. I’ve been treated like a tiny, fragile baby my whole life. There has been nothing that I could do about it. I’ve been inexperienced, foolish, and dumb. No one and nothing stays. Not even the rain. Well world, either you give me the answers or I’ll just give up. I’m through fighting this never-ending battle. If you don’t give me what I need it’s over and I’m gone. I can’t take your lies and deceits any more. Goodbye.

Chapter 2

A letter. Thought to be the end. Transforming it’s self to be only the beginning. An enlightening tool, pointing out the truth of my being. I thought it was simple, to end it all. I believed only in that quick ending, blinded to caring, thinking, feeling. A quick drop and a sudden stop.

Darkness enveloped my mortal body and soul, stealing it down deeper. Away until it disappears. My heart stops, blood stops moving, choking, muscles stop twitching. I sleep.

My neck had snapped and the bone had pierced through my windpipe, blocking any breath from escaping. I stopped breathing at that very second.

I feel cold, dangling only two feet above the solid ground, hanging by my pierced neck on a coarse rope. Wait… I feel. Yes, I do. And I still think, and feel, and… I can move!

I’m scared. I can’t be alive. I know I am not. What is happening to me? What did he do to me? It had to be him! There was always something uneasy about him. Why did I let myself be caught in his web of seduction? But he was worth it, or so it still seems. That must be his spell, still in my death he possesses me. Lasrak… gorgeous, tall, strong. He made me feel loved, he brought me in close to him. Comforting and welcoming, I loved him at first sight, even though I thought it was too fast. Nothing could change the way I felt when I looked in his eyes.

But now I resent him for stopping my death. For years I had seen and planned my escape from this mortal plane. And he used his invisible ways to stop me.

“Please, do not resent me, my child,” Lasrak’s voice, calming and comforting, came out of the darkness. I could feel his hands wrap around my waist, holding my body weight off my fragile neck. I feel the rope being pulled out of the ceiling and falling to the floor so gently. “Do not give up so easily in this life I have given you.”

“Am I dead?” I ask him as the rope is removed from my neck. He gently takes my still, broken body in his arms and carries me out of the basement of the abandoned building.

“Many say yes. But I say that you have just begun to live.” I curl closer to his body, not for warmth, we both are cold, but for comfort, and maybe a little love. I sob gently against his jacket, lamenting the death of my mortal self. “Very well, my child. I’m glad you now accept us. You will make a great and strong Child.”

Slowly I drift into a dreamless slumber and allow Lasrak to carry me wherever he willed.